Emma's Patented 13-Step Process to Quit Saying Sorry

1. Resolve that you're going to quit saying "sorry" when you're not really sorry.
2. Interact with another human.
3. Become cripplingly self-conscious with something innocuous you said, begin to sweat.
4. It comes out of your mouth like lava: SORRY
5. Internal monologue: GOD DAMNIT EMMA
6. WOW IT'S BEEN AN HOUR AND HERE YOU ALREADY SAID IT
7. CAN YOU NOT FINISH ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE?
8. Resolve again-- this time with feeling!-- that you're going to stop saying sorry.
9. Successfully omit "sorry" from your vocab for a length of time, typically 12-48 hours.
10. Internal monologue: I wonder if Dave thought I was being Really Bitchy the other day when I didn't say sorry when our schedules couldn't align. And maybe my coworker Bill?? And NOOOOOO, what about that old lady at Kroger?! She probably thinks I'm the poster child for the decline of decency... and shit! And do my parents think I'm a good daughter since I didn't say "sorry" when I wasn't available to visit? Maybe I'm NOT a good daughter! I'm probably NOT at all, WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER
11. Go on "sorry" bender for 48-96 days. Record every instance of unnecessary sorryspeak in yr journal with tally marks. 
12. Existential despair.
13. Rinse & Repeat